The Whole 30: In the Beginning...Putting it all out there

What the hell is The Whole 30?  To be completely honest, I don't know if I truly know.  I haven't read the book.  1. I am not paying for it because I am a cheapskate.  2.  I don't have time to read anything other than the epic saga, Lonesome Dove, which I have promised my dear friend I would do.  My knowledge of The Whole 30 comes from talking to people who have done it, Google searches, and of course, Pinterest.  Here is what I know, well what I think I know.  You cut out sugar, bread, grains, dairy, alcohol, and artificial junk you can't pronounce. You do this for 30 days.  I have read that the first 10-11 days are brutal and really tough, but then people feel amazing around day 14.  It's sort of like a month long detox plan.  Here is a cheat sheet I found on line.

So, I have heard about this plan for awhile, but I haven't been ready to give up alcohol.  I love happy hour on Friday afternoon, but I can do this for 30 days.

The Whole 30 plan suggests you don't step on a scale through the course of the 30 days.  Well, that's just crazy.  I am participating in a Biggest Loser contest at school, so I will need to weigh in weekly. I brought in my scale to be used for the contest, so at least this way, I can't weigh myself everyday.

So getting started, I did what every normal person does and pinned a bajillion Whole 30 recipes on Pinterest.  That was Sunday.  Then shit got real. Monday came.  I realized there would be no time for those recipes I pinned.  I would not be making any zucchini noodles.  On Monday morning,  attempted to make 2-ingredient banana pancakes.  It's just pancakes and eggs.  They didn't quite turn out like they were supposed to.  They just didn't hold together.  I don't consider it a complete Pinterest fail.  I ended up just scrambling them.  I also tossed some strawberries and cinnamon in them.  They looked like barf, but were very delicious.

Tuesday and Wednesday I experienced, what I think was sugar withdrawal.  I had a terrible headache most of the day and night.  That combined with my allergies (pollen season) it was pretty miserable.  I hadn't planned to take any additional medications on this plan, but I seriously couldn't bear it, so I gave in and took some pain reliever.  

So since I am not going to be making Pinterest meals here is basically what I eat:

Breakfast: Eggs mixed with bananas or sweet potatoes

Lunch: Salad with Oil and Vinegar dressing and grilled chicken. and some fruit.

Dinner: Some piece of meat (fish, chicken, steak, shrimp) and veggies.  

Snacks: Celery with almond butter, apples, nuts

I may have overdone it with the sweet potatoes for a couple days.  I had them in my eggs a couple days in a row and I also thinly sliced them and baked them to make "chips."  I seriously had some bright orange runny shits for two days, actually I have been having mostly runny shits all week, but maybe that's part of the detox thing.  I don't know.  I didn't read the book.  

Parsnips:  I am in love.  I toss them with some olive oil and sea salt and roast them.  Delish!

Thursday I felt amazing and I really wasn't all that hungry.  I didn't get a chance to eat my lunch at work that day, and I didn't get hangry at all.  Usually I am hungry all the time, and when I don't eat the hanger sets in and I am an irritable bitch.  

Friday, I wasn't hungry, but I was an irritable bitch all day.  Later that night I got my period and I realized I hadn't taken my birth control pill since Sunday.  No worries, I don't take it for pregnancy prevention, but for the hormones, which I seem to lack.  So there shouldn't be any surprise babies or anything. So I don't know if my irritable bitch day was sugar withdrawal or effing up my pill.  I try to remember to take it from here on out and hopefully know.

Drinking:  It's just been water.  Plain old water.  It's fine, even though missing happy hour makes me sad.  I know I don't have to miss it, but I don't want to go if I can't partake.  I can do it for 30 days, and I already gave up the really hard part (soda) 3 months ago.  

So many of the recipes I pinned originally call for bacon.  I couldn't find any bacon in the regular grocery story that doesn't contain sugar.  Today I made a trip to Whole Foods.  I already felt like a tool pulling up in my big ass pick up truck, which was hard to park in between the to Priuses (how the hell do you pluralize Prius?) but I managed with a 37-point turn. I felt completely out of place because I was not wearing yoga pants, but none of that matters.  I found bacon!!  Life is good. 

I weigh in on Monday!  I can't wait to see how I do.